Being home

I haven’t blogged for a while. Quite frankly I’ve not known what to say. Having flown home at the end of September my global bike trip ended. While I’d shed a tear on realising I would have to head home slightly earlier than anticipated I thought I was ready. Well, as ready as one can ever be. Were money no constraints I would still be on my bike. But it is, and I’m not.

This was how this blog continued as I wrote back in October.

There are reasons of course why being home is good and spending proper time with family and friends is of course too of this list but it’s also hard, and I’m struggling. I can’t move home properly until mid November when tenants move out of my flat. In the meantime, I’m staying with my ma.

She’s not felt so well this week, crippled with back pain and as I spent time preparing for a job interview I was finding myself becoming increasingly stressed. Nothing quite prepares you for parents getting older, roles twisting on their head while we all also just try to get on. Lacking in personal space and getting more and more tired as I stay up till the early hours…when my quiet time exists.

I didn’t finish or publish this update and it’s now December 6th. I returned to Edinburgh on 12th November, excited to see friends, my flat and Edinburgh, the beautiful city I am lucky to call home. John, my cycle buddy came too and it was brilliant to have his help and of course, his company. Sadly, he was finding the transition with being back really tough and after a few days he headed home. I was really worried.

Back in Edinburgh I had packing and unpacking to do as well as small DIY tasks to prepare my flat for sale. I was making good progress and while still unsure of exactly what I was doing next I was enjoying seeing friends and being home even if I was planning to move. Thankfully I had pushed on as just a few weeks later I am heading back to my ma’s. She is really unwell.

Nothing ever prepares you for these times. All we can do is be there and thankfully I am in a position where I have this time and flexibility. The bike tour seems much further in the past than the end of September and while gutted it had to end I am so pleased I am now here. The transition to “normality” after such an adventure was always going to hard but with such uncertainty and emotional ups and downs the next few months could be the toughest part of the journey.